Esoteric Hydroponics

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Order our Free Catalogue

Frequently Asked Questions

Free Catalogue And CDROM

How do I obtain a copy of the free Esoteric Hydroponics CDROM?

Please telephone us at any time to obtain your free catalogue and CDROM. Outside of working hours, please leave your contact information on our telephone answering machine. Please refrain from telephoning when you are not coherent -;@}=. Speak slowly, clearly and give your full address - we cannot afford that fancy system where you only need to give a house number and a postcode.

What is on the CDROM?

The CDROM is the web site, which has The Hydroponics Manual, the catalogue and extensive datasheets for many of the products in the catalogue. It is faster to access the web site on CDROM and you don't have to be connected to the InterNet.

Can I make a copy of the CDROM for a friend?

Feel free to make personal copies of the CDROM for yourself and friends, but do not re-distribute the content commercially or on the InterNet. Digital distribution of our manual, catalogue and the datasheets increases your success, reduces our costs and allows us to provide a better service to you.

What should I do if my CDROM does not work?

Please contact us immediately for help or a replacement disc. If nothing happens then follow the instructions on the disc. Alternatively, the CDROM may have been created with a CD Writer and this may be the cause of problems. For example, old CDROM drives may not be able to read oddly coloured discs. Many drives may take longer than usual to initialise discs - be patient. CDROMs created with a CD Writer "fade", especially if left in strong sunlight. Old discs may fail to work entirely, although you are free to make personal copies for yourself and friends.

The CDROM does not work on games consoles or a hi-fi CD audio player. The only information on the CDROM is computer files.

Does the CDROM work on a Mac?

Of course, the web site and CDROM is maintained on a Mac - by an Amiga owner. The CDROM is intended to work on MacOS, AmigaOS, RISCOS, SunOS, Solaris, Irix, OpenBSD, NetBSD, FreeBSD, QNX and Linux. It also works on MSWindows and BeOS.

Do you keep my name and address? Do you sell my name and address to other organisations?

When you telephone for a catalogue and free CDROM, we often write your contact information, by hand, directly on the envelope of a prepared and sealed catalogue. Should an envelope not be available, your contact information is written on a scrap piece of paper and later copied, by hand, onto an envelope. The original paper is incinerated. Envelopes are posted twice per day and no envelopes are left on the premises at the end of the business day. Catalogue requests on the telephone answering machine are also written onto envelopes and wiped from the machine one message at a time as the queue of messages is processed. Our telephone answering machine does not use a magnetic tape and no information can be recovered once power is removed. In summary, we have no record of catalogue requests after we finish a day's work.

When you order, we do not keep your name and address unless you pay by credit card, in which case we are obliged to keep your details for the purpose of resolving tax and financial queries for a period of six years. This applies to all credit card payments made to all companies. After purchasing goods, we may keep your details for a few days, until it is safe to assume you received your order satisfactorily - then your personal information is destroyed.

The procedure for this is as follows. Your contact information on the official order form is blanked with a thick, black, marker pen. This is then photocopied to ensure that the original pen markings and / or ink cannot be recovered. All other documents and envelopes are incinerated and destroyed. All personal information on the order form is now destroyed. The (anonymous, copied) order form is archived for tax purposes and this is also incinerated at the earliest opportunity.

General Questions

How old is Esoteric Hydropoics?

The company was incorporated on Friday 26 September 1997 (and still growing -;@}=).

Where are you based?

Guildford, Surrey, England.

Sales And Support

How do I know you won't keep my money and never send any products?

It is easy to verify our company exists. (We are company number 03440500.) Additionally, if we did not send goods, the news would spread quickly and we would end up without a business, which after all the hard work we've put into it, would be ridiculous. Also one of the main reasons that we put our business on the web is to provide the good, honest and efficient service that our customers deserve. Too many companies offer a poor service.

What is the fastest method of payment?

Online credit card payment and E-Gold.Com transfer are the fastest because payment is instant and can be performed from your computer. If you want the fastest service, please pay by depositing money directly into our bank account. See below for instructions on paying directly into our bank account.

Pay direct into our mail order bank account:

Call us on 01483 596484 to place your order. We will quote you the cost for your order including delivery. All you have to do is to go down to a local Bank quoting the following details: Name of account: Esoteric Hydroponics, the sort code, and account number will be given to you when you call. Once you have deposited the monies into our account give us a call, again we normally despatch the same day as receiving the order.

What about security when I pay by credit card?

We use the latest SSL technology combined with PGP encryption to ensure your details are safe. We also use AVS [Address Verification System] anti-fraud technology to protect ourselves and the public.

What is Esoteric Hydroponics' prefered method of payment?

We prefer payment by cheque, bank transfer, cash (registered or special delivery only) or postal orders. Online payment options incur a surcharge to the merchant (which we absorb). Therefore, we are able to provide a better and more discreet service if you pay via cheque, cash or postal order.

Additionally, if you are paying by cheque or bankers' draft, we do not dispatch goods until payment is confirmed. We would prefer to send goods immediately, but we have experienced an unacceptable level of fraudulent orders. We apologise in advance to our genuine customers.

I live in Mexico / Israel / Canada. Do you export to my country?

We sell to any country and we already have customers in Canada and arid regions, such as Mexico, Israel and Spain. We do not promote Esoteric Hydroponics extensively outside of the UK because the large and bulky nature of our products makes us relatively uncompetative. If you wish to purchase a hydroponic system, please note that they are quite heavy and therefore expensive to export. Exporting goods from the UK is extremely expensive, therefore we may surcharge large export orders. Please contact us if you are in doubt.

Bizarrely, it is often cheaper to arrange shipping with a company in your country. For example, the best quote we were able to obtain (from a UK company), for sending a HydroPod system from the UK to Sweden, was nearly twice as expensive as the best quote from a Swedish company. Please obtain your own shipping arrangements, if possible. Additionally, the heaviest part of a HydroPod system is the expanded clay grow media, which is nearly as dense as water. A four pod HydroPod system requires 50 litres of clay (approximately 45kg of clay) and therefore if you can obtain your own clay, you may save money.

Are all products held in stock?

The vast majority of our products are held in stock and you will be notified of any potential delay within 24 hours. All hydroponic systems are held in stock and the HydroPod system is constructed in-house, ensuring that we are never out of stock of our best selling items. All nutrients, growth accerators, lamps, reflectors, ballasts and grow media are held in stock. Please note that we occasionally and unexpectedly receive large orders which can make the most organised stock control erratic, although we aim to minimise delay for all concerned. For example, we fulfilled an order for approximately 12 × 24 pod HydroPod systems within two days without disrupting any other customer orders. (Excellent work, Rosco.)

Note that interest in hydroponics is subject to moderate seasonal variation and that indoor gardening is subject to ambient temperature. It is not unheard of for our experienced and regular customers order the same products when there is a large change in temperature. For example, we had previously experienced an unexpected shortage of CO2, although this is unlikely to happen again. If you would like to check the suitability of a product, or reserve items of stock, please telephone during working hours, or leave a message (with your contact information) on our telephone answering machine.

How soon will my goods be sent?

Your goods will be sent within 24 hours of us receiving your cleared payment. Payment by cash, postal orders and bank transfer usually implies immediate dispatch. (InterNet orders payed by credit card are subject to third party processing and approval.) Orders received by 2:00PM (14:00) are usually dispatched before the close of business at 5:30PM (17:30). Orders received on Saturdays, Sundays and public holidays are usually dispatched before the end of the next working day.

All of our mail ordered and InterNet ordered goods are sent via the most rapid courier delivery service available. For customers in the UK, this means next working day delivery. (Most courier companies exclude Saturday as a working day. The Esoteric Hydroponics shop and helpline are open as usual on Saturday.) Please note that the preditor insects in our organic pest control product range are bred by a third party and will not survive delivery over a weekend, nor will they survive export. Preditor insects can only be sent within the UK, mid-week. We are especially proud of our rapid service and had previously assumed that all of our competitors provided and equally responsive service.

What is your after sales service like?

We offer free, lifetime support to customers of our HydroPod system. We also offer free support with all products sold by us because we know that people can be unsure about matters such as two part nutrient, or our range of lamps. Please telephone, EMail or visit for assistance. Please note that we do not provide support via mobile 'phone text messaging because it takes too long to decode the messages and send suitable replies - just 'phone, willya?

Please note that we do not advocate or encourage illegal use of our equipment. If you request advice that can only be used for illegal purposes then don't be surprised if we finish the conversation abruptly.

When is the best time to telephone or visit the shop?

The best time to telephone or visit is during the morning business hours. Many of our customers are not particularly early morning people and the shop becomes noticably busier towards the end of the day. Therefore, if you want the most attention and the most discreet service, please be early. The absolutely worst time to telephone is just before closing time at 5:30PM. (Yes, we do leave at 5:30PM, and sometimes before then.)

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Catalogue: Kits | Systems | Lights | Nutrients | Grow Media | Fans & Filters | CO2 Release Systems | Environmental Controls | Miscellaneous | Pest Control | Literature

Bringing Nature And Technology Together:
Esoteric Hydroponics
8 Martyr Road
UK Telephone: 01483 596484
International Telephone: +44 1483 596484
UK Mobile: 07511 933888
Internatonal Mobile: +44 7511 933888
UK Fax: 01483 596490
International Fax: +44 1483 596490